His Mario voice, Chris Pratt claims, has been “Updated”

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In addition to this, the actor warned that it is “unlike anything else you’ve ever heard in the Mario world before.”

Illumination’s upcoming Super Mario Bros

Since Chris Pratt was first confirmed as the voice of Mario, the nipple-having Nintendo hero, in Illumination’s upcoming Super Mario Bros. movie, critics from all over the world have gathered to ask one, obsessive question: Is the dinosaur man going to do a huge, cartoony Italian accent?

Whether it was the aggressive, live-action Brooklynisms of Bob Hoskins and Captain Lou Albano, or the aggressively faux-Mediterranean accent applied to the character by longtime Nintendo voice actor Charles Martinet, of “It’s me! fame, it is a question that haunts any effort to bring Mario to the screen.

Would Pratt continue in this same line of linguistic thought? Would he refer to anyone as a “paisano,” or would he wax sentimental about his mother’s lasagna? Or would he just sound a little bit like Chris Pratt, who plays the role of Regular Human Man?

New Amazon series The Terminal List

Sadly, we still don’t know; the identity of Chris Pratt’s Mario Voice is a trade secret that has been kept hidden away in the vaults of the production company. But Pratt, who is currently doing promotion for his new Amazon series The Terminal List, has leaked a little more information about this all-important choice, including ominous assertions that his Mario voice is “updated” and “unlike anything you’ve heard in the Mario world before.” [Pratt] is currently doing promotion for his new Amazon series The Terminal List.

Do you get that impression, dear reader? That crinkling and crackling sensation is the sensation of raw possibility as your mind expands infinitely at the possibility of a new, “updated” Mario voice, one that pushes the bounds of the Mushroom Kingdom, and will most certainly not just be Chris Pratt talking in a slightly higher register as he says “Hey, back off turtle breath!” to Jack Black’s Bowser.

Outfit for Animated Movie

This is the updated version of Mario. Nu-Mario. Omega Mario. Apropos of nothing, here is our speculation about it: Perhaps with some British influence? Imagine it.

Anyway, here is the complete quote, courtesy of Variety, in which Pratt also feels compelled to emphasize that he is not going to be physically playing out his activities with Mario or wearing his outfit for this animated movie:

I collaborated really closely with the directors and tried out a few different ideas before landing on something that I’m very pleased with and that I can’t wait for other people to see and hear. It’s a narrative told through animation with a voiceover.

Voice of an Animated Character

It is not a film that features real-life actors. Running around in a plumber’s outfit is not something I plan to do anytime soon. My performance as the voice of an animated character will be modernized and distinctive in comparison to anything else you’ve heard in the Mario universe before.

Do we catch a whiff of weariness in Pratt’s tone when he talks about how much shite he’s already getting for taking on this voice part, which was probably just supposed to bankroll a few more trips or a new kitchen?

Surely not; that must be the Mario voice leaking through into the actual world, the world-weariness of a trained soldier who has been shooting mushrooms and turtles for such a long time that he doesn’t even know how to be a basic plumber anymore, and also, you know, maybe he’s a little bit British. We’re simply saying!

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